When you’re at a friend’s house and they have a dog
*talking to myself as I wobble up the stairs* , you are sober and in control of the situation
- Chocolate: Raw nuts/seeds.
- Oily/Fatty Snacks: Kale, leafy greens.
- Soda/Carbonated Drinks: Actual, literal bubbles.
- Chips/Salty Food: Topsoil.
- Cookies: Freudian psychology.
- Sweet Tea: A strong Southern gentleman to take care of you.
- Pasta/Carbs: Pasta/Carbs.
- Ice: The sweet release of death.
a fun and interesting fact about me is that im a fucking idiot
tony abbott: *comes to australia as an immigrant on a boat, had free university education*
tony abbott: so i wanna talk about two things i am really against